I'm here to help
Therapy for survivors of domestic violence in Orange County
Abuse doesn't have to leave a mark anyone can see to be trauma. If you've been told it was your fault, or you've started to believe you can't trust your own judgment, you aren't imagining what it did to you. Therapy can be a place to sort out what happened at your own pace, with someone who won't ask you to justify any of it.
What counts as abuse
Intimate partner violence doesn't have to involve physical abuse to be trauma. Emotional, financial, and psychological abuse count too: being controlled, cut off, monitored, belittled, or made to doubt your own memory. Common effects include hypervigilance, difficulty trusting your own judgment, and carrying blame that was never yours to carry.
Many survivors also carry shame and judgment from other people about staying. You may have been asked "why do you stay?" – and may have asked yourself that too. It's never a simple answer, and it is never your fault.
I'm in network with Aetna and UnitedHealthcare, and I provide a superbill if you'd like to submit to another plan.
How I work with survivors
Four things shape how I approach this.
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Safety comes first, and you set the pace. I go slowly. We never go anywhere you haven't agreed to go, and you don't have to tell me everything.
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We work with the body, not around it. Living on guard leaves the body braced. We use grounding, breath and tracking what you notice physically, in small pieces, to help your system learn that the danger has passed.
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We get curious about your protections. Using Internal Family Systems, we look at the parts of you that formed to keep you safe – the one that watched for danger, the one that kept the peace, the one that blames you first. Those parts aren't the problem.
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Nothing here asks you to decide. Whether you're still in the relationship, on your way out, or long gone, you don't owe me a decision, and you don't owe anyone a good reason.
Read more about somatic therapy Read more about IFS-informed therapy
Where this work comes from
I completed California's 40-hour domestic violence counselor training and did my graduate practicum at Laura's House, a domestic violence agency in Orange County, where I provided individual therapy to survivors and facilitated educational groups. That work taught me to go slowly, and to let you set the pace.
Signs an abusive relationship may still be with you
- Second-guessing your own memory or judgment
- Bracing when a door opens or a phone buzzes
- Apologizing as a reflex
- Feeling on edge even when no one else is there
- Shame about staying, or about leaving
- Finding it hard to trust someone who is kind to you
Having some of these doesn't mean something is wrong with you. They are often what it takes to get through living with someone unsafe. If you also have nightmares, flashbacks or a sense that it's still happening, the trauma page covers PTSD and complex PTSD.
Read more about PTSD and complex trauma Read more about childhood trauma therapy
What the first few sessions look like
We start with stability before we go near anything difficult. I want you to have reliable ways to come back to the present, and I want to know what actually works for you. From there, we move at whatever pace feels comfortable. If a week is too much, we slow down.
Sessions are 50 minutes, in person in Anaheim Hills or by secure video, and most people start weekly. For an online session you'll need a private space and to be in California. If that's hard at home, you can come to the office instead, or say so on the consultation call.
Is this a fit
This is likely a fit if you're carrying the effects of an abusive relationship, whether it ended last month or years ago, and want a place to work through them without having to explain or defend it.
It's likely not a fit right now if you need a shelter, a legal advocate or emergency help, which a therapist can't provide, or if you need a higher level of care than weekly outpatient therapy. Laura's House and Human Options are in Orange County and can provide services and resources. Tell me on the consultation call, and I'll help you find the right support.
Common questions
- Do I have to be out of the relationship to start?
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No. You don't need to have left, or know whether you will. Some people come while they're still in it, some come years afterward. You don't have to decide anything for me.
- What if I'm not sure what happened counts as abuse?
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That uncertainty is common, and it's often part of what abuse does. It doesn't have to be physical. Emotional, financial and psychological abuse count too. You don't have to settle the question before you start. We can look at it together.
- What if the person I live with is home during sessions?
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Tell me before you book. If home isn't private, you can come to my office in Anaheim Hills instead. Online sessions need a private space and for you to be in California, and that isn't always possible at home. We can talk through options on the consultation call. If you're worried about the person seeing your devices, use one they can't get to for anything you read or send here.
- Do you do couples therapy when there is violence?
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No. Couples therapy isn't safe or appropriate when intimate partner violence is currently happening. I would refer you to individual therapy, which is what this page is about. Couples and family therapy
- Do I have to go through what happened in detail?
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No. Retelling in detail is not required and not something I push toward. We work with how it lives in you now.
- Do you take insurance?
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Yes, if you have Aetna or UnitedHealthcare (through Optum). I bill your plan and you pay your copay. For other plans I can give you a superbill to submit for out-of-network reimbursement. If you'd rather not have a diagnosis on file, paying privately is another route. See how insurance works
If you are in danger right now
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788, 24 hours a day. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. And if the person you live with can see your devices, consider looking at this from a phone or computer they don't have access to – or clear your browsing history afterward.
Not sure which fits?
Most people don't arrive with a clean label, and the thing you came in for is often not the whole story. You don't need to decide now. The other places people start:
Trauma therapy Childhood trauma therapy Parents who couldn't be there for you Anxiety and depression Grief and loss Couples and family therapy