I'm here to help
Couples and family therapy in Orange County
Relationships can bring both connection and challenge. Sometimes you can point to exactly what's wrong. More often, it's harder to pin down – you keep having the same fight, just about different things. You keep feeling distant from someone you love, even when nothing is technically wrong. You keep walking away from conversations feeling unseen.
That pattern usually has a history. However you learned to handle closeness and conflict, it's possible to learn a different way – and it can begin to shift with understanding and support.
What people bring here
What couples bring here
- The same argument on repeat, with no resolution.
- One person pursues, the other withdraws, and both are convinced the other started it.
- Rebuilding after a breach of trust.
- Difficulty setting or holding boundaries with a partner.
- Deciding whether to stay.
- Feeling alone in the relationship.
What families bring here
- Parents and adult children working to build a different kind of relationship than the one they've had.
- Difficulty setting or holding boundaries with family.
- Old roles and patterns that resurface even though everyone has changed.
- Wanting to repair distance or tension without knowing where to start.
How I work
In our work together, we'll look at how you learned to communicate and what you came to expect from others – because those early patterns often shape how you deal with conflict. Once you can see that pattern clearly, it becomes something you can work with, rather than something that just keeps happening between you.
I also draw on Internal Family Systems to help each of you understand the parts that show up in conflict – the part that gets defensive, the part that shuts down, the part that reacts before thinking. When both partners can see their own parts at work, instead of only seeing each other's, the conversation can change.
And because tension builds in the body before it ever turns into an argument, we track what's happening physically too. Noticing the moment your chest tightens, or your jaw clenches, is often the first real clue to what's happening beneath the argument itself.
Read more about IFS-informed therapy Read more about somatic therapy Read more about trauma therapy in Orange County
What couples sessions look like
I'll want to hear from each of you about how you understand the problem, and I'll want to learn about your individual backgrounds – early experiences often shape how you show up in relationships now. From there, we start working on the pattern that keeps surfacing between you, rather than replaying the same argument over and over.
I don't offer individual sessions to either partner as part of couples work, and I hold a no-secrets policy – anything shared with me individually may become part of our work together, rather than staying confidential from your partner. This protects the trust the process depends on. In couples therapy, the relationship itself is the client, not either individual, and keeping that frame consistent helps both of you feel like the process is fair.
It is not a fit when intimate partner violence is currently happening in the relationship. Conjoint therapy is not safe or appropriate in that situation, and I would refer you to individual therapy. If you're in danger, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. Laura's House and Human Options are located in Orange County and can provide services and resources. I also don't provide custody evaluations, court-ordered assessments, or documentation for legal proceedings.
Working with families
While family therapy can take many forms, my work in this area focuses primarily on parents and adult children. Family relationships often carry the longest history of any relationship in our lives, which can make them some of the hardest to shift. That history can make it difficult to relate to each other as who you both are now, rather than who you used to be to one another. Therapy can create space to see each other more clearly in the present, and to build the kind of relationship you both want going forward.
In our work together, I'll want to understand each of your perspectives on what's happened and what you're hoping will be different. We'll look at the patterns that keep showing up between you, and where they may have started – often much earlier than the current conflict itself. This isn't about deciding who's right. It's about understanding each other well enough to relate differently going forward.
Common questions
- Can I come alone if my partner won't?
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Yes, but this would be individual therapy rather than couples work. If your partner later decides to join, I'd refer you both to another therapist for couples therapy, since an individual therapeutic relationship will have already been established with me.
- Does couples therapy work over video?
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Yes, though it's best if you're both in the same room together when possible.
- Will you tell us whether to stay together?
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No. That decision is yours. My job is to help you build the skills to communicate and support you in creating a healthier relationship, whether or not you decide to stay together.
- Do you take insurance for couples therapy?
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Check with your insurance about coverage for couples sessions specifically, since many plans don't cover it the same way they cover individual therapy. I take Aetna and UnitedHealthcare. I can provide a superbill for reimbursement if I'm out of network. See fees and insurance
Not sure which fits?
Most people don't arrive with a clean label, and the thing you came in for is often not the whole story. You don't need to decide now. The other places people start:
Trauma therapy Childhood trauma therapy Parents who couldn't be there for you Anxiety and depression Grief and loss